Through the Stars
by Killisandra
Summary: This story is dark and full of angst. A girl with dark past is flung back in time to the time of King Arthur and his Knights. Yes, it's been done before, but hopefully mine is different.


Dear Readers,

You may have realized that my story is a little different than all the others. My character is dark. She will always be dark. Later on you will see how dark she can be. This is not a Mary Sue in the way that you think. This is about a girl that will have a struggle within about the power that killing serves on the mind. There will be much angst.

As for the scenario, please don't tell me that this has been done before. I KNOW that already. But my character is different. As for her dark past, I pull them from my memories. This character is my schizophrenic side of me dying to get out. A part of me wishes that this would happen to me but I do not wish to kill anyone. I have purposely pushed all thoughts of a career in Criminology or Law enforcement out of my head because I'm scared of what that will make me. I'm scared that I will become the monster that I'm so determined to avoid. And the one thing that I hate to admit but I know is inevitable is that my darkness will haunt me to the day I die. I will always wonder whether or not there will be someone out there to get me. And I know there is one man in the entire world that does want me dead.

I'm only telling you this so that you can understand that not only am I bearing this story to the critics, but I'm bearing a piece of my soul as well, as I think most stories should be.

However, I will try not to get too emotional writing this story, although, digging up these memories is painful it also helps me too. I'm finally able to face such things without the blinding hatred and the eternal sorrow. And yes, I cry to this day about everything that has happened. And I also wish that I could take everything back, but I can't. No one can.

I guess with story, I want everyone understand the hardships and the tragedies that go along with such emotions. It's not only my will to convey a good story but for everyone to understand that dealing with things like this brings about a certain type of person. Without a doubt I know I could call upon the darkness and end a life easily and not think about it again, but I refrain because I already know how wrong that is. And it's not because of religion but because I have a strong sense of right and wrong. Most people do but in the early stages, the first two years you have the blinding murderous rage that takes so long to get rid of.

I'm not sure why I'm telling you all this, perhaps to have a better grasp on the character of my story but to have an understanding that I'm not a typical writer. I write from the heart and everything that goes with that. Women feel all emotions differently, whether men want to accept that or not. We have longer memories than most men and sometimes I wish I could trade, but other times, I'm glad for it.

I had better end this letter here before I get too emotional. I don't want your pity; I just want you to understand where I'm coming from.

I truly hope that everything is well with all of my readers. And when I wrote, 'I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.' I really meant it.

Blessed Be,

Killisandra (Kirsten)

P.S. Please don't give me horrible reviews. Although, I care of your opinions, ones that are just nasty in there own right, will be removed.

"Killisandra! Where the hell have you been?" Katherine asked her little sister.

"Um… Out?" Sandra replied trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Well mum has been going absolutely mental not knowing where you have been. With all these terrorists' attacks happening and the recent bombings, how can you be so irresponsible? I'm telling you…" Killisandra tuned her sister's ranting out as she scratched her head. She looked down at her sister who stood at about 5'4" with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. _She's a real stunner_, Killisandra thought. Katherine was the most successful out of the two sisters. She was working at the top agency in New York as their Marketing Director. She was slowly making her way up the ladder and in a few months time she was expecting a promotion.

Killisandra or Sandra as everyone called her, was the complete opposite of her sister. She was 5'11" with long dark hair that fell to her waist in ringlets. She had deep green eyes that reminded her of the trees on the mountain she had grown up on.

Sandra had gone to boarding school in Northern New York State; a school called Millbrook. She boarded went there for four years, boarding the entire time, except for one year when she had a minor nervous breakdown at the end of her second year due to stress. She lived in a house her parents had rented and her mother moved up there to be with her. The relaxed lifestyle helped immensely and Killisandra found herself completely refreshed after a year away from school. Most of the time though, she had the house to herself as her father increasingly became stressed at work with the impending deals with his clients, that her mother would go home to help him with stealing his resolve on what must've been done.

Killisandra also lead a very different life than Katherine. She had barely scraped through high school, managed to get some money together and get over to Europe. She worked her way throughout her trip until she ended up in London a year later ready to study at the university in Australia she had applied for while overseas. She had gotten into Bond University, which still remained a great mystery to her, to study Criminology. Although she loved the course, the people there were pretentious and obnoxious and in the end she couldn't handle the hormones and the attitudes she received. She wasn't much for quitting but decided to defer for a year before she thought about transferring to a different school. So she moved to Melbourne where her parents had a house in Toorak and weren't currently living there. When she got there, she had chilled out for a few weeks before looking around for a job. She found one as a bartender at a pub called the College Bowl. She had worked there for about six months before she was offered a job as an exercise rider at Lee Freedman's farm after a small demonstration of her skills when one of his horses had gotten loose at the racetrack and had run out onto the road. She had nearly run the damn thing over but instead had pulled over onto the side of the road and had moved slowly to catch him. As they were too far to walk back to racetrack, she had decided she would ride. She had checked him for any injuries, as she hadn't wanted to add injury upon injury by riding him. She had locked up her car and swung herself into the saddle. The horse had side-stepped away from the car and kept turning in circles to see who was on his back where Killisandra had lent forward and patted him on his neck. He nibbled on her sneakers and then without warning shot off in the direction of the racetrack. At the time, Killisandra had praised her mother for all those riding lessons as she nearly fell off but hung on gripping with her legs.

She had managed to slow him down a bit before reaching the stables where a stunned crowd was looking at her. She had asked whose horse this was as she had dismounted and a very stunned Lee Freedman had come to claim him. She walked back to his stables with him until he finally asked who I was. When she had told him who she was he had asked if she was related to Sue and John. She had laughed and said they were her parents. She had a job on the spot and an invitation to dinner.

When she wasn't working for Lee, she was teaching Tae-Kwon-do at the local Dojo on Malvern Road. It was a great release for her as she let the emotions of her dark past consume her and be released as she fought, breathing in the clean energy and letting go of the negative. She was often in between a state of meditation and consciousness.

At the moment though, she was visiting her parents in London, who had an apartment in Kensington that overlooked Hyde Park. They also had a small cottage just outside of Oxford. It was quaint and offered a retreat from the frantic life of the city. Killisandra spent most of her time up there as the city generally gave her headaches from all the bustling sounds that a large city generally had. She loved it up there with the rolling hills of green and sky for miles. There was also a great perk that the cottage was across the road from a Friesian Stud Farm and after a great review from Lee, she was able to ride their horses and get paid a little under the table for odd jobs around the stable. Her recent achievement at Oakwood Friesian Stud Farm was the breaking of one of their new colts. They had paid her a grand and allowed her to name him, whereby she chose Archimedes, after a great philosopher.

Killisandra, in her spare time, when she was not teaching or riding, she was reading. She was quite studious in the occult and languages. She spoke German, Italian, Turkish, Russian and French as well as Latin. Although, it was a dead language, she found it fascinating as so much of the world used to depend on one language, specifically Rome, which she found particularly interesting pre-Constantine.

She was brought out of her thoughts with a sharp pinch on her arm. She glared at Katherine.

"Were you even listening to me?" Katherine put her hands on her hips.

"Listen wuss," Katherine cringed at her nickname. "There's no damage and I got back safe. So no worries, all right?"

"Fine but mum and dad are still pissed." Katherine said, "I mean really, after Fiji, you'd think you'd be more careful."

Killisandra looked at her sister and glared. "What the hell would you know about Fiji? You didn't even acknowledge it happened for the first three months. Don't bring things up unless you can back them up with facts, which you don't have."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get changed, we're having dinner at Sketch tonight."

Killisandra stalked off to get changed for dinner leaving a slightly bemused sister in the hallway.

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Killisandra fell into a fit full sleep later that night, after the guilt trip her parents had put her through during dinner. They were worried about her throughout the day and kept subtly reminding her of Fiji. As she was drifting off to sleep she went over that night in her mind, the struggle, the pain and the utter hopelessness of her situation. A small tear slid down her face as she began to feel the worthlessness and the pain grip her heart. _If I had just listened to my gut, none of this would have happened._ She shook her head mentally as she refused to slip back into despair. _I am strong. He did not break me._ She repeated these words in her head three times and felt that little bit of strength seep back into her body. She sighed as her eyelids began to droop, _one day it will not seem so fresh and I will be able to get home to myself._ With that thought her consciousness ceased to exist.

ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ

A few hours later Katherine woke up to a harrowed scream down the hall. She sat up with a start and listened to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She could hear muffled shouts and curses so she got up to investigate. She first went to her mum and dad's room but they were fast asleep so she went onto Killisandra's room and peeked in. She saw her younger sister thrashing in the bed. The sheets had tangled themselves around her body and looked like they were restraining her.

Katherine ripped the sheets of the bed feeling the dampness of the material from her sister's sweat. She then put her hand on her shoulders and gently shook her awake. "Killisandra, please wake up. You're only dreaming. Wuss?" She peered at her face and saw the tear tracks down her face and the blood on her lip where she had bitten her lip during her nightmare. At that moment, Killisandra's eyes shot open and she at up suddenly. Katherine was so surprised that she let out a small shriek and fell off he bed with a thud.

"Who's there?" Killisandra looked around frightfully.

"Me wuss, Jesus. You nearly gave me a heart attack." Katherine picked herself up and sat back on the edge of the bed. "You were dreaming so I came to wake you. I'm surprised that the whole flat didn't wake up to your screams."

"Mum and dad use earplugs at night because of the noise of the city. They wouldn't hear anything if you put a blow horn next to their ears." Killisandra chuckled at the thought.

Katherine looked at her, "what were you dreaming about?"

"Honestly wuss, you don't want to know. I don't want you to dream the horrors that I do." She looked down at her hands and spoke in a barely audible whisper, "I wouldn't wish it upon anyone." Tears fell from her eyes and the back of her throat closed up as she began to sob softly. She put her hands on her face to hide her shame.

Katherine looked at her sister with pity. It was strange to see her normally strong and outgoing sister sobbing in her bedroom at night at the horrors she must endure for the rest of her life. She pulled her into a hug and felt her t-shirt become wet as her sister clung to her.

In the back of Katherine's mind she had always been curious to know what had happened that night. She had tried to get Killisandra to tell her but her sister had just looked at her like she was insane. Perhaps she was, but she never met anyone that had been in her situation before so she was morbidly a little curious as to what it was like.

Killisandra's sobbing subsided and she lay back on the bed feeling slightly exhausted. "Thank you wuss, for sitting with me." She said before falling back to sleep.

Katherine brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead. "You're welcome wuss.


End file.
